It’s Your Birth, You Can Have Who You Want To

It’s getting close.  You have spent 9 long months growing your baby and waiting to meet him or her.  Lots  of decisions have been made.  You’ve thought about the when and the where.  Family and friends are sharing in your excitement and can’t wait to meet your little one.  You’re grateful for all the support and love, but when the big day gets here, the question remains…who do you want to be with you during the birth of your baby?

This is a conversation that I have a lot with lots of clients. They generally have a good idea of who they would like there.  The thing is, they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  They  question whether or not to set their feelings aside and choose someone they  may not feel comfortable having at the birth.  This can leave a mom feeling confused and anxious.  So, how do you decide?

In middle Georgia, you are generally allowed to have up to 3 people in the delivery room with you.  One of those people is almost always your partner.  So that leaves you with 2 people.  If you have a doula (which I highly recommend), you are now left with one.  It’s one of the most important decisions you will make.  It can be the difference between a wonderful experience and one that leaves you feeling traumatized.

Here are some things to consider when you and your partner are deciding  who to have at your birth:

*Will this person be supportive of any decisions that you make?  So often, people bring in their own views of birth and can want moms to deliver “their” way.  It’s essential that everyone in the room is there in support of mom, her partner, and the baby.

*Does this person get along with your partner?  The last thing a mom needs when she is delivering a baby is for there to be tension in the room.  The support team should be unified.  The environment should feel safe and peaceful.

*Does the mom feel safe with this person?  Birth is hard work.  Mom needs to focus on herself and her baby.  When she feels safe and secure, she can  do the work she needs to do to bring her little one into the world.

Every situation is different, and there are lots of variables.  The important thing to remember is that this is your birth.  You get to choose who is there.  Feelings might get hurt, people might not always understand.  But, this is the only time you will get to give birth to this baby.  Make it what you want it to be.  Because this birth story matters.